Melissa Tries Her Best

I have real feelings for fictional characters. Enjoy your stay.

this is how race jokes should be 

Chervil being majestic

one time i told my friend i would buy him 5 guys if he drove me to the eye doctor and he asked me if he could pick the guys

To celebrate the new Thor, I made her helmet! It was a lot of fun and only took two days. It’s made of EVA foam. I ran out of blue foam so I had to use yellow, which made it look like a jester’s hat before i painted it :o

i was talking about tattoos with my coworker and she told me that once this guy she was dating drunk-called her and told her “i got your name tattooed on my butt” and obviously she freaked out and called him a moron

and he showed it to her and it was literally the words “your name” tattooed on his butt

guys he literaLLY GOT A TATTOO FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF PSYCHING OUT HIS GIRLFRIENDS THAT IS FUCKING COMMITMENT 

A Russian-Canadian restaurant called Vladimir Poutine.

that’s it that’s the show

one time my mom went onto amazon and typed in books

just books

We’re sorry, but you cannot renew your drivers license until you present your birth certificate, proof of residency, your third grade class portrait, the lunch menu from the last restaurant you visited, a really cool rock and a potato chip in the shape of your favorite waterfowl.